Fiona McMahon PT DPT (She, her, hers)
It feels like it started early this year, didn’t it? The day after Halloween the Bryant Park Christmas fair was up and running. Little wreaths and twinkly lights adorn the downtowns of the tri-state area. Yesterday, (I am sitting down to write this blog on November 11th) I saw an adorable little boy absolutely losing his mind with joy over a Santa statue at my local drug store. It was excessively adorable. It’s a sweet time of year, filled with beauty and love, but it can also be a super stressful time of year filled with obligations, travel, shopping, expectations, and the bittersweet longing for those who cannot celebrate with us this year. In short, the holidays are loaded. There are elements of the holiday that will never not be stressful. It is stressful to fling yourself from event to event while trying to maintain some modicum of self-care, but in this blog, we will discuss practical tips to protect your holiday and better yet your peace of mind during this time of year.
Oh the B-word. Boundaries. Much like a fence, boundaries can be protective and can provide your friends and family with a clear set of expectations for how you want to be treated and what they can and cannot expect from you. Sounds a tad harsh, but what’s harsher is getting upset with your loved ones when they do things that they had no idea would bother you. Boundaries should be clear cut and judgement free. A good example, for most families is discussing politics. If political discussions, especially if your family’s views vary greatly from yours, are stressful, you may want to set up some boundaries around it. You may say, “ I would prefer not to discuss politics tonight at the holiday table, if we do discuss politics, I will excuse myself to the living room”. Excusing yourself to the living room is not meant to be punitive. You are not punishing your relatives for discussing politics, you are simply excusing yourself from a potentially divisive and argument starting topic that will upset you. You cannot control the actions of others, but you can control how you react to those actions, hopefully with kindness while keeping your boundaries intact.
Another way to set boundaries is setting boundaries with your time. For most of us with the crazy schedule of the holidays there are certain rituals that fall by the wayside. It’s okay to have some elements of your routine be non negotiable, like your 30 minute jog or morning meditation session, Holding onto the activities that bring you peace can best allow you to show up and be present for all of the holiday festivities.
You don’t have to do it all. Not every party requires your attendance, not every bake sale requires your dessert, and you can allow some things to slide. At the beginning of the season decide what is really important to you. Is the “coats for kids” fundraiser really meaningful? Put it up on your list, but could you let your work friend’s party slide? Cool, buy yourself some extra time. Look at your weeks and decide what is not only realistic, but healthy for you. Maybe if there are a few parties you want to go to, you could give yourself a day or two off from your workout routine and (here’s the important part) be kind to yourself about taking a break. You can say no. I believe holiday cheer to be a finite resource so save it up for what matters to you.
Loaded, loaded, loaded topic. But the holidays are where we can fall into some really unhealthy eating habits, which can make us feel really crappy. Try to mix in some healthy food with your holiday treats. I’ve quoted this Oscar Wilde quote (which I have misattributed to Mark Twain, full disclosure), “everything in moderation, including moderation.”, which I think is an excellent mantra to take into the holidays. Sometimes you gotta have a little fun and indulge, but being mindful of how much and how often, can help us to feel our best during the holidays. Make sure along with your cookies you are getting some vegetables and lean protein to keep your blood sugar stable. Limit alcohol to the best of your abilities as it can decrease the quality of your sleep, to avoid the trap of over caffeination and requiring a nightcap to sleep.
Leave time if you can for exercise and movement and time just for yourself. It allows you time to check in with yourself and see how you are doing as well as time to sit back and reflect/appreciate the holidays.
The holidays and year’s end can be a time when we look back at our year and evaluate how far we have come. It can be easy to dwell on our shortcomings, and although they can provide important direction for our future goals, it is also a brilliant time to reflect on your achievements. You have successfully gotten yourself through another year, Heck! Another decade, where you have grown and learned valuable lessons, which makes you all that more deserving of some good ol’ holiday cheer.
Happy Holidays from the Beyond Basics Family.